“The reason why students cheat in exams is because we value their grades more than they value their learning.” - Richard Feynman
Image from Matt Moloney via Stocksnap.IO
This is a profound quote.
It means a lot of things to me. It applies to how our actions meet intentions and the results that might come from them. Take something as simple as weight loss - we either want to learn from the process and stay the course even when things don’t go well; or we do what 90 percent of folks do, which is hop from thing to thing in hopes to see the number on the scale drop. To get the result.
To get the grade.
But the grade - in actuality, is meaningless unless you or others place value upon it. In school, they teach us that grades are important, so students will do what they need to to get it. I am guilty of this too. Organic chemistry, microbiology, and calculus were all this way for me. They were difficult, I struggled, and I did what everyone else does. Put off proactively studying, crammed for exams, and that first semester at UNH, it showed. I was avoiding learning and trying to pass the course. Now on the other side of this as a University Instructor, I see it.
You need to struggle; to learn. If you skip that part; you will never get where you go. These experiences wake you up from your slumber, open your eyes, and teach you to have a more deliberate approach. This can be hard to embrace though. Hard to accept.
We fear what would happen if we actually try to figure out something new, be vulnerable, and give it our best. People like to make excuses. We like logical conclusions. So when something goes worse than predicted, it’s easy to make it not our fault. It feels “good” and okay to rationalize. It’s like blaming another kid in elementary school because “they did it first.” Maybe true, but that doesn’t help the situation.
Fear can be good sometimes, too. Remember when you were younger, people would say, “Dream big.” “Shoot for the moon.” “Believe in yourself.” This is okay when you are younger and we have endless imagination. When we become adults, and we are crushed by the weight of responsibility, stress, and reality - it’s harder to dream in this way. We rationalize things by saying they aren’t realistic or passing blame. But, I still believe there are plenty of people who use this idea as a motivator. Instead of saying “If only…” they dream and say “How can I…”
We have opportunities in life. Many things are big, grand ideas. Scary, even. Losing weight, businesses, transformative solutions to world problems, etc. Those who dream about learning HOW and fulfilling the TRY part are usually the people that succeed. They value the process of working towards the big goal, and then play the long game. They stick to it until they are successful. When the time is right and everything falls into place, they get the result they are looking for.
They get the “grade” they want. That grade is the experience of doing something scary, coming out bruised but not broken, and being just fine with the result.
If you value the experience of what you are doing and pay attention along the way, “failing” is only part of the process of improvement, and not the end state.